A note to Miss Stephanie:
Our last conversation didn't go as I'd meant it, because I didn't think it out well enough beforehand. That and I was nervous.
I always get nervous around women...but this is something you already know. ;)
What I should have said was this: back towards the beginning of my year at Jack's, you helped me realize that I didn't have the skill to talk to a woman one on one at the bar. (Remember that time we were alone at a table and I walked away because I was too afraid and just didn't know what to ask you when you said "ask me anything"?)
I resolved to try harder after that. A few months later I met a woman at the bar and asked her out on a "non date". That meeting led to another non-date, then another. Fast forward a few more months and now we're happily together and I want to marry her.
Thank you for teaching me that a man should be ready when a woman gives him her complete attention. Thank you also for teaching me that beauty is something rendered from who people are; it's a composite of their lives, their passions and their feelings. Beauty has very little to do with what people look like.
Discovering beauty in others comes from talking to them. You taught me this, with your descriptions about you and your life. Listening to your stories was like hearing a book being read aloud. Every word you spoke made you more complete and more real. I found that to be both amazing and hugely intimidating.
Thank you for that lesson.
It was good to see you at the bar tonight. You'll always hold a special place in my heart, Miss Stephanie. Please take care and please see to your happiness as much as possible. You are a beautiful woman and deserve all the happiness in the world.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Day 326 - Muppets Behind the Bar!
Today’s one of those days at work where I’m imagining which Muppet Characters would best fit the bartenders at Jack’s.
When Aimee came to mind, my first thought was Oscar the Grouch.
Then I remembered he’s not a Muppet. He’s also not a she. Hrm…
It all started with my idle mind conjuring up an image of the Muppets taking over Jack’s. It was just Kermit at first, and then I imagined myself as Jim Henson, operating Kermit from below.
As soon as the bar owner shows up, Kermit freaks and then disappears under the bar. An instant later he pops back up, but in disguise as Tanisha, complete with bee hive hairdo and big (yarn) boobs.
Then the owner says, “You aren’t supposed to be here,” to Kermit before saying hello to a customer, so Kermit flies underneath the bar again and reappears an instant later dressed as Aimee. He’s having problems with his disguise though; all of his press on tattoos (little kid ones) are peeling off.
Absent Kermit trying to be everyone, which other Muppets would match up to each bartender best? Tanisha as Miss Piggy? Charlie as Fozzie Bear?
When Aimee came to mind, my first thought was Oscar the Grouch.
Then I remembered he’s not a Muppet. He’s also not a she. Hrm…
It all started with my idle mind conjuring up an image of the Muppets taking over Jack’s. It was just Kermit at first, and then I imagined myself as Jim Henson, operating Kermit from below.
As soon as the bar owner shows up, Kermit freaks and then disappears under the bar. An instant later he pops back up, but in disguise as Tanisha, complete with bee hive hairdo and big (yarn) boobs.
Then the owner says, “You aren’t supposed to be here,” to Kermit before saying hello to a customer, so Kermit flies underneath the bar again and reappears an instant later dressed as Aimee. He’s having problems with his disguise though; all of his press on tattoos (little kid ones) are peeling off.
Absent Kermit trying to be everyone, which other Muppets would match up to each bartender best? Tanisha as Miss Piggy? Charlie as Fozzie Bear?
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Day 314 – Baby Beers
After-work bar visits are more fun when you’re in the bar, anticipating the moment when your girlfriend walks through the front door, her eyes scanning the crowd for you.
You imagine the smile on her face as your eyes find her brilliant brown peepers. You wonder what she’ll be wearing: warm sweater or winter coat with scarf? You can imagine the texture of both under your hands because you’ve held her close in both outfits before. Will she be wearing perfume? How will her hair smell? Or will you not be able to tell at first because she’ll be wearing the gray beanie that she looks so pretty in? The one you gave her the other morning when her hair was wet from the shower and she didn’t have time to dry it because you’d spent a good chunk of the morning shower time doing something else in bed?
You know you’ll feel the cold on her clothes and especially on her hands and you’ll be glad she’s in the bar where the temperature is set as much by heat emanating from the bodies of bar patrons as any warmth flowing out of the overhead vents from some unseen heating unit.
Regardless you’ll hold her close and make sure her cold hands find their way into your warm ones before she so much as touches a cold beer glass.
The best part is when she walks through the front door and all your questions are laid to rest.
Thanks go out to:
Thunder “Errol Flynn” P. for the Amaretto whiskey shot and the cherry vodka shot. You always go out of your way to treat everyone great at the bar, including those of us who may or may not have tried to insert large pieces of construction grade lumber into your rectum when you were passed out.
Tanisha for the baby beers. You kept me and Priscilla going while we waited for Christian to finish up so the three of us could head out and learn the fine art of Emma-sitting at his place.
Aimee B. for being an awesome bartender. I hope your piggy banks all fill up fast and you get to travel to awesome places.
See you Thursday at Jack’s!
:)
You imagine the smile on her face as your eyes find her brilliant brown peepers. You wonder what she’ll be wearing: warm sweater or winter coat with scarf? You can imagine the texture of both under your hands because you’ve held her close in both outfits before. Will she be wearing perfume? How will her hair smell? Or will you not be able to tell at first because she’ll be wearing the gray beanie that she looks so pretty in? The one you gave her the other morning when her hair was wet from the shower and she didn’t have time to dry it because you’d spent a good chunk of the morning shower time doing something else in bed?
You know you’ll feel the cold on her clothes and especially on her hands and you’ll be glad she’s in the bar where the temperature is set as much by heat emanating from the bodies of bar patrons as any warmth flowing out of the overhead vents from some unseen heating unit.
Regardless you’ll hold her close and make sure her cold hands find their way into your warm ones before she so much as touches a cold beer glass.
The best part is when she walks through the front door and all your questions are laid to rest.
Thanks go out to:
Thunder “Errol Flynn” P. for the Amaretto whiskey shot and the cherry vodka shot. You always go out of your way to treat everyone great at the bar, including those of us who may or may not have tried to insert large pieces of construction grade lumber into your rectum when you were passed out.
Tanisha for the baby beers. You kept me and Priscilla going while we waited for Christian to finish up so the three of us could head out and learn the fine art of Emma-sitting at his place.
Aimee B. for being an awesome bartender. I hope your piggy banks all fill up fast and you get to travel to awesome places.
See you Thursday at Jack’s!
:)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
So last night at the bar...
...Rod, the former Marine Captain, had to walk himself in the rain to Der Wienerschnitzel to purchase coffee so Travis (the bartender) could make Rod an Irish coffee.
Rod announced that Der's coffee is pretty good. Travis even served up the drink in some sort of fluted glass with a handle that I've never seen before at Jack's, but that looked like it'd be right at home in some barista's arsenal of glassware to serve his or her customers with.
What the hell else do they have hiding behind the bar that I don't know about?
I think I need to get really drunk there and get myself locked in overnight. Then the exploring will commence.
And when I'm done, I can make a nice bed out of spent cardboard boxes (the ones left over after the restocking is done) to sleep on, like Charlie did once. I know this is possible because I saw the picture. It. Was. Awesome.
See you at Wednesday at Jack's!
[P.S.: Hi blog! I missed you!]
Rod announced that Der's coffee is pretty good. Travis even served up the drink in some sort of fluted glass with a handle that I've never seen before at Jack's, but that looked like it'd be right at home in some barista's arsenal of glassware to serve his or her customers with.
What the hell else do they have hiding behind the bar that I don't know about?
I think I need to get really drunk there and get myself locked in overnight. Then the exploring will commence.
And when I'm done, I can make a nice bed out of spent cardboard boxes (the ones left over after the restocking is done) to sleep on, like Charlie did once. I know this is possible because I saw the picture. It. Was. Awesome.
See you at Wednesday at Jack's!
[P.S.: Hi blog! I missed you!]
Monday, October 4, 2010
Day 277 (88 days left) - Why Do Big Women Get Dissed?
OK, let me preface this post by saying the men of the bar are pretty much good people. They're polite, well meaning and basically don't go out of their way to make other people uncomfortable.
For all that, if you get a few of us together you sometimes hear jokes or comments about big women who come into the bar. If one of our number hits on a big woman, the guys will laugh at and tease the guy doing the flirting (especially if he's in his cups and basically ambles right up to her and sits down after the woman so much as looks in his direction).
Let me state here and now I've done a bit of laughing at a friend's expense under just such a scenario.
More to the point: there are some ideas (memes) about big women I've heard repeated by several different men at the bar, whether the men are sober or good and buzzed.
The two most common memes are 1) that big women don't get as much sex as other women, and 2) big women are desperate for sex and relationships so they'll chase drunk guys (after downing several drinks themselves) just so they can get a guy and bring him home.
My response to these memes: bullshit.
First of all, what the fuck counts as a "big woman"? Do you go by height? Hips? Ass? General body shape? Women come in all different shapes and sizes...I've seen women get pointed out and laughed at who weren't truly overwieght, but just because they had large hips or a short, square-ish frame...why does that make them something to joke about?
By that measure, half the roller girls I've seen should be considered undesirable (wide hips and muscled thighs owing to skating). Yet in my opinion these are some of the most amazingly sexy women ever to grace Jack's Bar with their presence.
And as for the women that are truly overweight, so what? There are fat men...why aren't they the subject of jokes or under-the-breath ridicule from the ladies? Sure women will blow off men they find to be unattractive, but a confident "fat" guy can do pretty well with women because women tend to find confidence attractive (this is something I've heard repeatedly from several women at the bar over the past nine months; I've also seen it in action at the bar, time and again). Why don't confident big women get the same respect (hellz, even just half a chance) from men?
In my experience, big women are just as good in bed as any other woman. I'm no (s)expert, but this is one thing I'll hang my hat on: big women get just as wet, work just as hard at foreplay, come just as hard (and just as frequently) and want it just as bad as thin women.
From watching people at the bar over the last nine months it's my opinion that a "thin" woman who's not had sex in weeks or months is no less or more likely than a "big" woman to have some drinks, loosen herself up and find a partner. (Men, it should be noted, do the same thing. And they're far more obnoxious about it when they're drunk then women are.)
Please don't take this as me stating all women are loose. What I'm saying is that the population of women who will engage in this sort of behavior is comprised of women of all shapes and sizes.
You can't just pin it on "big" girls and some bullshit notion of desperation.
It frustrates me that pointless societal notions of what's considered pretty, attractive, sexy and desirable fall under such base, thoughtless criteria as body type and size.
Granted men are free to live their own lives, so they're going to have their own preferences about what kind of woman they're attracted to.
All I'm saying is that I wish for fuck's sake that men would pull their collective heads out of their asses and really stop to think and consider a big woman instead of automatically disregarding her because of her size. Big women are smart, sexy, have a life history worth knowing and are possessed of desires every bit as powerful as any other woman.
It's not a "big" woman's fault if a man is chicken shit* and not up to the challenge of approaching her, flirting with her, bedding her and pleasing her.
See you tomorrow at Jack's!
For all that, if you get a few of us together you sometimes hear jokes or comments about big women who come into the bar. If one of our number hits on a big woman, the guys will laugh at and tease the guy doing the flirting (especially if he's in his cups and basically ambles right up to her and sits down after the woman so much as looks in his direction).
Let me state here and now I've done a bit of laughing at a friend's expense under just such a scenario.
More to the point: there are some ideas (memes) about big women I've heard repeated by several different men at the bar, whether the men are sober or good and buzzed.
The two most common memes are 1) that big women don't get as much sex as other women, and 2) big women are desperate for sex and relationships so they'll chase drunk guys (after downing several drinks themselves) just so they can get a guy and bring him home.
My response to these memes: bullshit.
First of all, what the fuck counts as a "big woman"? Do you go by height? Hips? Ass? General body shape? Women come in all different shapes and sizes...I've seen women get pointed out and laughed at who weren't truly overwieght, but just because they had large hips or a short, square-ish frame...why does that make them something to joke about?
By that measure, half the roller girls I've seen should be considered undesirable (wide hips and muscled thighs owing to skating). Yet in my opinion these are some of the most amazingly sexy women ever to grace Jack's Bar with their presence.
And as for the women that are truly overweight, so what? There are fat men...why aren't they the subject of jokes or under-the-breath ridicule from the ladies? Sure women will blow off men they find to be unattractive, but a confident "fat" guy can do pretty well with women because women tend to find confidence attractive (this is something I've heard repeatedly from several women at the bar over the past nine months; I've also seen it in action at the bar, time and again). Why don't confident big women get the same respect (hellz, even just half a chance) from men?
In my experience, big women are just as good in bed as any other woman. I'm no (s)expert, but this is one thing I'll hang my hat on: big women get just as wet, work just as hard at foreplay, come just as hard (and just as frequently) and want it just as bad as thin women.
From watching people at the bar over the last nine months it's my opinion that a "thin" woman who's not had sex in weeks or months is no less or more likely than a "big" woman to have some drinks, loosen herself up and find a partner. (Men, it should be noted, do the same thing. And they're far more obnoxious about it when they're drunk then women are.)
Please don't take this as me stating all women are loose. What I'm saying is that the population of women who will engage in this sort of behavior is comprised of women of all shapes and sizes.
You can't just pin it on "big" girls and some bullshit notion of desperation.
It frustrates me that pointless societal notions of what's considered pretty, attractive, sexy and desirable fall under such base, thoughtless criteria as body type and size.
Granted men are free to live their own lives, so they're going to have their own preferences about what kind of woman they're attracted to.
All I'm saying is that I wish for fuck's sake that men would pull their collective heads out of their asses and really stop to think and consider a big woman instead of automatically disregarding her because of her size. Big women are smart, sexy, have a life history worth knowing and are possessed of desires every bit as powerful as any other woman.
It's not a "big" woman's fault if a man is chicken shit* and not up to the challenge of approaching her, flirting with her, bedding her and pleasing her.
See you tomorrow at Jack's!
*You might be offended by this line (for which I apologize). If so, your mental response to my statement might be, “I’m not chicken shit, I just don’t like big girls.”
This all may be true, but have you stopped to really think about why you feel this way? I dare you to honestly assess your thought process. If you do, I'll wager you come to realize your reasoning is based on assumptions rooted in biases that you picked up when you were twelve years old. Ever since then you’ve been looking for half-truths to confirm the bias true, not looking for reasons to debunk it.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Day 272 (93 Days Left) - Jeff Had a Stroke
Today I learned that one of the former bartenders at Jack's—Jeff—had a stroke.
My thoughts and prayers and those of your friends go out to you Jeff. I love you very much buddy and wish you the speediest and most comfortable of recoveries.
If any of you who read this blog from time to time get to see Jeff in the hospital, please do your best to remain as absolutely positive as you can when you see him.
Having read My Stroke of Insight recently, I can tell you that one of that book author's main points is that people who have strokes can recover from a stroke, but the recovery is contingent upon the victim being surrounded by extremely positive people who always encourage, but never lose patience and never give up.
If you see Jeff, please keep these ideas in mind. If the Doctor and Nurses seem to forget these concepts, remind them of these facts in a civil manner. Also, it wouldn't hurt to draw the blinds as bright light can exacerbate the pain in the beginning of recovery.
One of my favorite memories of Jeff is how he always stood up to people. He wasn't rude, just businesslike and to the point. If someone was rude to him or said something inappropriate (like bluntly implying or outright calling him a racist) he'd simply invite that person in close, lean over the bar and tell them to their face that A) he's not a racist and B) not to call him that again, especially when he's working and serving people at the bar.
It was like he knew where he stood at all times in the bar, and so was unshakable from that foundation. This is something I've always admired about him and always will.
My thoughts and prayers and those of your friends go out to you Jeff. I love you very much buddy and wish you the speediest and most comfortable of recoveries.
If any of you who read this blog from time to time get to see Jeff in the hospital, please do your best to remain as absolutely positive as you can when you see him.
Having read My Stroke of Insight recently, I can tell you that one of that book author's main points is that people who have strokes can recover from a stroke, but the recovery is contingent upon the victim being surrounded by extremely positive people who always encourage, but never lose patience and never give up.
If you see Jeff, please keep these ideas in mind. If the Doctor and Nurses seem to forget these concepts, remind them of these facts in a civil manner. Also, it wouldn't hurt to draw the blinds as bright light can exacerbate the pain in the beginning of recovery.
One of my favorite memories of Jeff is how he always stood up to people. He wasn't rude, just businesslike and to the point. If someone was rude to him or said something inappropriate (like bluntly implying or outright calling him a racist) he'd simply invite that person in close, lean over the bar and tell them to their face that A) he's not a racist and B) not to call him that again, especially when he's working and serving people at the bar.
It was like he knew where he stood at all times in the bar, and so was unshakable from that foundation. This is something I've always admired about him and always will.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Countdown: 99 Days Left! (Day 366)
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Dear Reader,
I don't drive anymore. Did I tell you?
I voluntarily suspended my vehicle insurance (they let you do that for six months at a time at my insurer) and I registered my truck as non-operational.
Why do such a crazy thing in a city (hell, a country) where vehicle ownership is practically mandatory to get by? Couple reasons, actually.
One is saving money. Another is I can't get a DUI this way (though I can get a BUI [i.e. Biking Under the Influence] which I hear can be near as bad as a DUI penalty wise). Lastly, I'm less likely to turn my truck into a 2000 pound battering ram of death when it's perma-parked in my driveway.
What will I do with the money saved on insurance and gas, you ask?
Probably spend it at Jack's Bar & Lounge in order to complete my goal of sampling every bottle on the shelves of the bar before the year is out. ;)
Lord knows I'll be thirsty enough to do it, considering that hauling my lard ass around on a bicycle every day has left my thighs in fits. I swear they're ready to pick up stakes and move to a new, more sedentary body belonging to someone else.
It was those same wobbly legs that I used to walk myself into Jack's this afternoon right after a ride through downtown San Jose from the train station. The usual bunch of Thursday regulars were in attendance.
One of these was Devito. Myself, him and Matt the Builder (who says Bob should get all the credit?) had a lengthy discussion about the merits and flaws of Evgeni Nabakov's departure from the Sharks after several years of excellence. Nabokov is going to play in a Russian League, which means he won't get to break several Hockey Records for goaltending that he was on track to topple.
In addition to my regular pint of beer I sampled the Effen Vodka, which is a black cherry and vanilla vodka made in Holland. When I asked for a screwdriver, Tanisha offered to make it how she would drink it. As usual the result was awesome: Effen, orange juice and a splash of 7-up over ice.
I left with a good buzz and yet another set of happy memories from Jack's. 98 more days left after this and I think I'm going to miss it. Not saying I'm leaving Jack's after the year's over; rather that it feels good to know there's always one part of my day that will always be awesome no matter what.
Thanks to Tanisha for the drink and for the insta-beer as soon as I walked in the door. That's forever damn awesome.
See you Friday at Jack's!
Dear Reader,
I don't drive anymore. Did I tell you?
I voluntarily suspended my vehicle insurance (they let you do that for six months at a time at my insurer) and I registered my truck as non-operational.
Why do such a crazy thing in a city (hell, a country) where vehicle ownership is practically mandatory to get by? Couple reasons, actually.
One is saving money. Another is I can't get a DUI this way (though I can get a BUI [i.e. Biking Under the Influence] which I hear can be near as bad as a DUI penalty wise). Lastly, I'm less likely to turn my truck into a 2000 pound battering ram of death when it's perma-parked in my driveway.
What will I do with the money saved on insurance and gas, you ask?
Probably spend it at Jack's Bar & Lounge in order to complete my goal of sampling every bottle on the shelves of the bar before the year is out. ;)
Lord knows I'll be thirsty enough to do it, considering that hauling my lard ass around on a bicycle every day has left my thighs in fits. I swear they're ready to pick up stakes and move to a new, more sedentary body belonging to someone else.
It was those same wobbly legs that I used to walk myself into Jack's this afternoon right after a ride through downtown San Jose from the train station. The usual bunch of Thursday regulars were in attendance.
One of these was Devito. Myself, him and Matt the Builder (who says Bob should get all the credit?) had a lengthy discussion about the merits and flaws of Evgeni Nabakov's departure from the Sharks after several years of excellence. Nabokov is going to play in a Russian League, which means he won't get to break several Hockey Records for goaltending that he was on track to topple.
In addition to my regular pint of beer I sampled the Effen Vodka, which is a black cherry and vanilla vodka made in Holland. When I asked for a screwdriver, Tanisha offered to make it how she would drink it. As usual the result was awesome: Effen, orange juice and a splash of 7-up over ice.
I left with a good buzz and yet another set of happy memories from Jack's. 98 more days left after this and I think I'm going to miss it. Not saying I'm leaving Jack's after the year's over; rather that it feels good to know there's always one part of my day that will always be awesome no matter what.
Thanks to Tanisha for the drink and for the insta-beer as soon as I walked in the door. That's forever damn awesome.
See you Friday at Jack's!
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