Day 125 - A Pair of Pilots and Hot Sacked by Travis

Wednesday May 5th 2010


Tonight I met a pair of pilots. They are Ken aka Han and Patrick aka Chewie.

Like the famous Star Wars characters, Ken and Patrick are equal in authority in their aircraft. One is always technically the pilot, the other a co-pilot, but both are equally rated and capable of flying their aircraft.

At first I couldn't remember what was and was not OK to say about them (my notes are incomplete) but the night is coming back to me so we're good.

I do have one of their business cards and could call one of them up to ask, I suppose. But I don't think I'll do that. After all, they fly at 51,000 feet in the fastest non-military jet in the world. Wouldn't want to distract them with a ringing cell phone when they're checking out the curve of the Earth itself from that high up.

I do recall them saying that they sometimes don't fly with masks on that high up because although regs call for it, there's just not all that much you can do if something goes wrong and cabin pressure is lost. In the event of an emergency the aircraft would automatically drop down to 15,000 feet (to where it's possible to breathe again) but they might just all be dead by then anyway.

One of the pilots (Chewie) said that to get this job he had to basically win the lottery for pilots. That's not to say they drew his name out of a hat, rather that he was the in the top percentile as a pilot and as a result he landed himself the mother of all pilot dream jobs.

Both of those guys were pretty cool. They sat at the corner of the bar near the entrance, one flirting a bit with Rina as she worked behind the bar, while the other told stories of getting escorted out of a town with his family by the sheriff after a small run in with the locals.

Han even bought me a beer. Thanks man.

I envy those two their camaraderie, the way they constantly looked out for each other at the bar (seriously: if either one of them was out of sight of the other for too long, they'd ask if anyone saw their partner and if not they'd go looking for each other) and ability to sample cities all over the country during their shared downtime between flights.

Carting important people around sure has come a long ways from the time when you basically put them in a box with two long polls and carried them everywhere, eh?

After I told them about my bar blog they joked about writing a blog together of places visited on their travels. I think they ought to do it.

Tonight's around the world at Jack's drink was Chivas Regal Premium Scotch Whisky. Very smooth stuff. The one think I've learned about Scotch after sampling several varieties these last two weeks is that it straight up sneaks up on your ass.

You're good, then you're exhibiting all the signs of drunkenness even though you don't feel drunk. This whole business of different varieties of inebriation depending on what you drank to get to that point is interesting to me. I wonder what will be different when I get to the Vodka? Or Rum?

OK so this might seem a good post, right? Interesting people were met and written about.

But no, we're not done yet.

I have to tell the story of being hot sacked by Travis.

It's not a very intricate story. DJ Benofficial and one of his buddies were trading off at the turntables (that buddy being DJ Vex) as Wendee showed up. She looked really nice tonight (hair, makeup, lipstick) and I remember Ken saying he liked better what DJ Vex was doing (right around when he started playing Set Adrift On Memory Bliss by P.M. Dawn). I don’t remember when Travis showed up with Caitlin, I just know Travis and I both gave up our seats to the ladies and proceeded to enjoy the music, the drinks and the night.

I think Travis and Caitlin have developed a sort of telepathy. They were laughing and joking, never really pausing to communicate devious plans or instructions. Yet somehow Caitlin jumped up, told me she was leaving and offered me her seat. So I took it. Travis said something like "Hey we're going to perform an experiment, you should turn around," and at that point I should have realized something was up, but no. So I turned around and Wendee did the same.

At that point Travis sort hop-landed his crotch on my left thigh, just above my knee. As you can imagine, I could feel the weight of his balls and cock on my leg, all warm and toasty like a hot pocket just out of the microwave after it's had a chance to cool.

Caitlin busted up laughing, I was sort of shocked and Wendee thoughtfully suggested that I should go take a Crying Game shower.

Lolz.

Later when we were outside Travis told me that he used to "hot sack" the door guys at the Flying Pig. They had to wear shorts and it got pretty hot and he never wore any boxers so you can only imagine what that was like. Lolz by that measure I got off pretty easy tonight.

I think I left with Wendee around 11:30 p.m. that night. I don't know if I said goodbye to Ras Dank (he was on door duty tonight) but I do recall it got so crowded for a Wednesday that ACME had to jump in to help Rina out behind the bar. Good looking out.

See you Thursday at Jack's!

Day 34 - The Generosity of Others and Al Pancho

Quote(s) of the day:
There are no pussies at Jack's! -Rina, to Pretty Boy
Let's close the bar and go watch shit get run over. -Rina, RE: the Monster Truck show


Of today's visit to Jack's Bar & Lounge, the following should be noted first:

• THANK YOU to God for buying me a beer and a double shot of Whiskey as soon as I walked in the door.
• THANK YOU to ACME for extending my stay by buying me a beer and a Washington Apple (ooh those are sooooo good).
• THANK YOU to Waukeen (we need a codename for you, Waukeen....how about Chuy?) for buying me a beer.
• Thank you to Gary for responding to my accidental butt-dial. You know there are cool people in your life when they see you've called, left no message and so head on over to the bar to make sure you're OK and whether you need help home. Thanks man.
• Thank you to Drew Barrymore, for letting me buy you a beer. Nobody should be left feeling parched at Jack's.

There was a birthday party at Jack's. The birthday boy (we'll call him Pretty Boy - I talked to him later that night, but didn't catch his name) was served up by Rina with a multicolored, reggea themed triple-drink combo.

I can mark off one more item from the checklist of odd things seen. In this case, it was watching a grown man suffer from severe brain freeze. Those birthday shots must have been cold as hell.

A new piece of artwork by Aimee is up at Jack's. This one is a large, wide black picture frame. Within the frame's borders are hung three smaller pictures. Each one is of a heart (seems apropos, with Valentine's day approaching). The picture of a human heart laying on a bed of what looked like long pine needles or straw, with the heart stitched together in two places with thread the color and texture of old bone really caught my eye.

I saw Aimee and Grant as they were leaving. Aimee told me that the opening for her artwork is this Friday at 6 p.m. Come one, come all, as new artwork will be displayed.

DJ Benofficial came in to spin as he always does on Wednesdays. What made this occassion special was that Ben played a track (one of two, actually) he'd recorded earlier today with none other than Al Pancho (website - myspace). Thanks Ben for sharing brand new stuff with us like that. You rock dude.

I wouldn't know new reggae sound from old, but you know it's something good when Fitzroy aka Jamaican Jerk aka JJ is all but jumping back and forth as he dances like a man standing on a floor sized hot plate, with a genuine smile on his face. As an aside: JJ is quite possibly the most physically beautiful man I've ever seen at Jack's.

Wyatt aka Lady Boston accompanied JJ to the bar and let me tell you it was totally awesome to see her again. Lady Boston is a smart, intelligent, extremely well read woman who I could listen to with my eyes closed just for the chance to hear her accent.

Lady Boston, JJ, Dank and Drew Barrymore were all friends of Pretty Boy's and his girlfriend (didn't catch her name) and were there for his birthday.

I went outside and a man with big black sunglasses on asked me if I was a bouncer. His shades reminded me of those worn by the doorman who got his neck broke by Seraph in the third Matrix movie. I said no to his question and told him I'm just here to breath in the night air and extend my buzz from my toes to the top of my head. Yogi-style full breaths are good for that.

The scent of DJ Benofficial's Black and Mild mixed nicely with the night air and brought back memories of sitting next to the fire in the basement of my aunt Joy's house in the wintertime, where my uncle Jerry smoked his pipe and told me that sound of a fart was not in fact him, but the call of a barking spider.

That's my excuse now, too. ;)

Two women came in from the Cirque du Soleil OVO show going on just up the street on Taylor. One of them had what looked like a Harlequin mask and seemed quite pleased to have bought it. I should have worked up the courage to talk with them before the left.

I spoke with ACME about what it's like to work in a restaurant versus a bar. In the former, it's always "Yes sir, I'm sorry sir, let me get that for you sir" whereas in a bar it's, "Look, this is how it is. We can do it my way or you can take your shit and get the fuck out".

I saw a man who I was later told decorates his house in doilies and old furniture. He was very stylishly dressed, with an understated scarf protruding from under a well-worn leather jacket. Not sure what type of hat he wore. I'd like to see that house.

I saw Scotty aka Mr. Scott come in. He left too soon. I like his Bejan accent and how his sentences flow up and down like a song.

I hit on a woman who came to the bar by herself and hung out alone for like an hour. The could shoulder she gave me was so fierce I got frostbite.

DJ Otrebor took over the reigns from DJ Benofficial for awhile. At about that time the bar -which wasn't all that packed when I came in- started to fill up.

Chuy and I had a nice long talk about why we like Jack's so much. He told me a story of how he'd first come to Jack's with his sister and Matt aka James Dean was behind the bar. Matt shook Chuy's hand and went about his business after serving Chuy and his sister their drinks on a very busy night.

The next day Chuy came to the bar and Matt came up to him with Chuy's sister's ID, which she'd left behind by mistake the night before. Chuy was surprised that Matt even remembered him with everything else that was going on and was very appreciative as he took back his sister's ID.

I met a tall man with a large diamond imprinted in white on his black hat. That same same diamond was on the large grey sweatshirt that he wore. I've met him and his friend before, but failed to get their names both times.

Outside I met a man who wishes to be called Cool. Cool is an artist and told me a story of how he had to bail on commitment to show his artwork at Jack's back when Jack's was reopened under the current ownership. Cool had no choice because he chanced on an opportunity to show the same art pieces in San Francisco. As it turned out he sold everything.

My memory is kind of fuzzy at this point (who am I kidding: I'm tired of writing and am late for my Thursday trip to Jack's), but I recall talk of the following:

• 40oz beer bottles raining down around you like artillery shells while being chased by gang members in San Jose
• Teachers getting dressed down for assuming children were being disruptive by their choice of crayons to use when in fact they were just color blind
• Of how multiple bar patrons have parents who teach mentally handicapped children
• Of how such children only have love in their hearts

I also remember a man showing me pictures of his work cutting words and patterns into people's hair. He works with his sister at a salon. My phone notes say his name is Jaime Fox.

I ended my trip to Jack's by watching a tow truck driver peel out at the intersection of 5th and Taylor. I didn't know tow trucks could do that.

Lolz see you tomorrow or an extremely brief visit to Jack's.

Day 27 - Of The State of The (Jack's) Union and Spousal Knife Fights

Borrowing from J. Robert King here: Garrison Keillor wrote that reading a self-indulgent poem is like finding a condom on a beach. You know someone has been there and has had a good time, but it doesn’t mean that much to you.

Hee hee this aint poetry, but I'm as self-indulgent in my writing as they come. So mind your step as I guide you along the sandy beaches of my mind. ;) 

And if you can't hack it, just drive yourself to Jack's Bar & Lounge instead. Whole lot less dirty that way.

So I feel better about walking in to Jack's. Kinda like I got my groove back after a rough, uncertain week, you know? Just don't call me Stella ....well, wait: you can call me Stella, if you also buy me a beer.

Speaking of strong, sexy, intelligent and opinionated women, I had a nice conversation with Lisa (who's happily married btw; all you Lotharios can look somewhere else--and besides, I saw her first) at the bar this evening.

Lisa gave me permission to use her first name in the blog (lolz The Naming Conspiracy is somewhat on hold, though there was universal agreement tonight that Travis would be better described as Jack Black, as opposed to Sean Connery or Burt Reynolds).

Lisa has some definite ideas about why people come to neighborhood bars. As she wisely pointed out, we all of us have excellent home stockpiles of liquors and beers, thus we can basically buy or mix the drinks we order at Jack's for a lot cheaper than the bar charges.

The reason people drive to a bar and pay more for their drinks, Lisa says, is because of the most basic benefit a good bar provides: socialization.

People come to the bar to meet other new people and to talk. Lisa pointed out she would have never met me had one or both of us not chosen to visit Jack's occasionally. We'd have not given each other more than a second look on the street if we'd walked by each other.

But because we visit Jack's, we've come to know each other and benefit from each other's company by being able to gripe about work, gripe about life, share the things that make us happy and talk about the things we each are doing like house projects, planning for and taking vacations and so on.

She agreed with me that some people come to a bar to disappear, so to speak. But even these people open up eventually and get to know those around them (yours truly being just such an example).

Aimee was tending bar and had the guns out (Ron Burgundy style). I've not actually seen all of Aimee's tattoos on her arms, so it was cool to be able to check them out finally.

A shift change was just around the corner, so the night crew arrived in short order: Rina to take over for Aimee (enjoy your trip!), Dank for door duty and DJ Benofficial to spin.

Met a guy named Mike and his two buddies, also JT, his girlfriend and their two friends. Major fail on writing names down. My bad.

My bar buddy Christian arrived soon after and spent the better part of the night giving me pointers on how to meet women. Lord knows I need them.

Thanks to Christian for the beer, the whiskey shot, for buying late night Der Wienerschnitzel and for telling me the story of how you met your incredible wife.

You had me totally fooled on the spousal knife fight and duct tape story, too.

I only hope my advice was as much use to you as yours was to mine.

Anyway, I'm late for my next trip to Jack's. See you there!