Day 109 - Ras Dank = Bingy Rebel! And Shift Changes

Monday, April 19th

Holy Week Off From Writing the Blog, Batman!

Being King of the Slackers is easy. The Slacker King doesn't occupy a throne. Instead you lounge on a couch that's been liberally dusted with food crumbs, loose change and various detritus found in the residence of bachelors.

The heaviest thing you have to lift on the King's Couch is the universal remote.

The only drawback is that when you're King you only have enough energy to go to work (not actually work at work; more like just show up and collect a paycheck) and then visit the bar. Blogging is just asking too much.

I'd love it if they had a King's Couch at Jack's, but I'm sure I'd have to share it with other pretenders to the throne. Now if it was only the King and bar babes in waiting that were allowed on the Couch, well...

Heh, back to reality.

9:25 a.m.
Monday's trip to Jack's started with a side trip to the bank for cash. No sooner had I thought "cash" then my brain brought up the memory of the dude loaded up on drugs who tried to rob Bruce Willis' character in The 5th Element and how all he kept saying was "give me the caaaaaash" while he tried to hold his gun steady.

That movie was and continues to be awesome by the way (and was #3 on Jessica's Top Five movies of all time: see Day 67).

9:39 a.m.
A text from Wendee aka Rosicrucian: her niece found a date for the prom! Not sure why she texted that to me, but I'm reasonably certain she's proud and excited. The Coleman Shopping Center (where my bank is located) was all lit up like a shopping center meant to be used in the movie Collateral (long time readers of this blog know nighttime San Jose makes me think of that movie all the time).

9:44 a.m.
Parked in the sweet spot, but have the urge not to turn the key just yet as I listen to the BBC World Service on National Public Radio. Those English accents are awesome...ever notice how each reporter's accent is just a little different than the host's? Funny, I've never heard a cockney accent yet. I listen as news of accusations against Goldman Sachs are detailed and a careful analysis of "the American market" is made. I watch a dude ride by on a white bike, with some thin green glowing plastic tube wrapped around and around the frame of his bike, like the line from a weed whacker turned radioactive. He waits at the 4th and Taylor light for his bike friends, who are all shades of green and flashing red and blue lights. Cool.

9:46 a.m.
I see Christian aka Monkey walking from Der Wienerschnitzel with food in hand. He tells me he's headed home from the bar and I tell him I'm headed inside the bar. That's what I call a shift change.

Inside: Rina behind the bar, Travis at the door, Ras Dank on the turntables, KC chilling at the bar and Jerry is to my right as I take a seat at the center of the bar. He smells good as ever and I know as soon as I shake his hand that the smell will stay with me. As hand smells go, this one's not bad at all.

Rina served up a beer fast and quick, then Jerry bought us a round of shots while Rina told Jerry the story of thrice ripped pants at three consecutive birthday parties. I suggested she purchase a pair of Chuck Norris Action Jeans, but the idea did not go over very well. Travis notes that the men lucky enough to glimpse Rina's derrière prior to her covering up probably filed that memory away in the spank bank.

Then the conversation took a turn which I will opt not to relate, save to opine in response to Rina's statement that yeah, I guess I could see a guy saying that to a hot bartender.

Leaving that conversation behind, I moved over to the turntables where Patty was unpacking food she'd just bought for her and Dank. I gave Patty a warm hug and asked her what size Captain Morgan bottle she wanted (Small? Large? Costco Über Bottle?) and she said what with school and all that might not be a good idea. Then I suggested something by Tony Bordain and she warmes right up to the notion. She said he's like a good cast iron skillet because he's well seasoned (i.e., very experienced). Patty, that was some kick ass word play, let me tell you.

Outside with Patty and Travis tells the tale of his and Caitlin's (that's the Irish spelling of her name btw; and thanks Patty and Travis for the assist and the callback - you know what I'm talking about) efforts to TP Jeff's room from outside his door. Then I watch Leonardo da Vinci walk by with food from Der Wienerschnitzel. I miss Leo. Haven't seen him in awhile at the bar.

Wendee calls me up and I call her back 'cause I missed her call. After the conversation ends I see Joaquin walk into the bar alone (no Francesca with him :sigh: she's damn pretty). Inside the bar Ras Dank is absolutely tearing it up on the turntables. Everything he plays speaks to my soul and makes this bearded white man want to dance a jig (God forbid - besides, I'm saving learning how to dance for next year's resolution). Joaquin sits next to his friend Sergio and I see that they're like old buddies, which it turns out they are.

Jerry makes to leave and Rina produces a mini-flashlight for him to read by. It's even smaller than the flashlight I see Travis use from time to time at the door.

10:35 a.m.
23 people in the bar. Tables 1, 2 and 4 are occupied and the bar itself is pretty full. At this point I make the mistake of asking Patty if the woman at the corner of the bar (and about two seats from me) is not in fact a transvestite. Joaquin turns away from Sergio long enough look over Patti's shoulder and inform me that my question was said in too loud a voice. Then Patti indicates I've done the old foot in mouth move. Yikes, time to go outside and live that one down!

Outside the air is perfect. It's fresh, tinged with the expectation of rain to come soon. The air isn't cold, but it's not warm either. I notice a couple come in. He's white, she's black and is carrying a black camera with a long lens. They sit at table 3 and later tonight he'd stand outside and take pictures of the entrance to the bar. I think James aka Bang-Bang! Kla-Klow! and I may have surreptitiously flipped him off.

11:09 a.m.
Patty and I finally find seats at the bar (a couple basically stole our spot from us earlier) and she tells me her sludge battle story (sorry for your suede coat loss!) and then ACME arrives with Katie and BB!KK!

11:23 a.m.
The wind picks up and blows west to east now. Back inside I chat with KC and he points out that the "Bingy Rebel" I hear being sung/spoken over the sound of the music is his and Ras Dank's crew. Fricking awesome! Come visit on a Monday night Dear Reader, it's worth the trip! Anyways, Ras Dank was only getting better by this point. It should also be noted that, as dudes go, KC is one handsome dude.

11:38 a.m.
Five new arrivals puts the head count at 36 strong and Rina is in ping pong ball mode behind the bar, moving from end to end but never quite stopping for long.

On the flat screens it's all Iron Man 2 commercials and Bully Beatdown episodes.

Outside again and Benny hugs Patty goodbye just after Katie commented on the nice car in front of the bar, which Benny gets into and peels out as he shoots up the street. Then Patty causes me to experience severe phone envy as she shows me her shotgun application for her phone, then  her lightsaber app, her ping pong app and her target practice app.

My current phone is going to need an app(lication) for unemployment once my next free service upgrade arrives.

12:05 a.m.
I watch an elderly man walking down Taylor in the same direction the wind is blowing. He has a work uniform jacket on and is carrying a lunch bag from a strap on his shoulder. I remind myself to have fun and drink at the bar, sure, but also to try and not forget the world around me, if I can help it.

Patty tries to walk inside and runs right into a small woman in a dress, brown jacket and matching boots. She's very pretty (I almost used "hella" instead of "pretty" but managed to avoid it, even though the usage would be correct in this instance and [factoid] the word "hella" originated in the Hunter's Point neighborhood of San Francisco). Her date/boyfriend/whatever is outside waiting and she holds her arms up over her head like she was when she first walked out and she asks him rhetorically, "God how can I get any more slender?" as they proceed around the corner of Amy's Salon towards the Der Wiener parking lot, her arms still up in the air.

12:11 a.m.
Someone left the sink running and backed up in the men's restroom. I turn the sink off but save the backup for a braver soul than I (that is, someone who gets paid to unclog sinks). In the hallway I notice a bar towel hanging on the middle hook of the coat rack by the back exit, while a dude from the bar walks into the restroom, beer in hand. Gross.

12:20 a.m.
I'm already out later than I should be. I say my farewells, get teased by Joaquin and ACME (no, the reason I'm leaving is not because of a booty call lolz), then pause a moment outside after Travis warns me of SJPD rolling by with no lights. They end up catching someone almost instantly (not from the bar, mind, rather someone speeding by the looks of it).

Curtiss arrives on his bike so I say hello to him and shake his hand as he locks his ride up. I think to myself that this is another good shift change as I walk across the street to my truck.

Another day done. Another Jack's visit in the books.

See you Tuesday at Jack's, Dear Reader.

Oh, and GO SHARKS!!!