Saturday, February 6, 2010

Day 35 - I Kissed A Girl and I Liked It

....with apologies to Katy Perry. ;)

Another rainy visit to Jack's Bar & Lounge started with me exiting out of my truck at the Happi House parking lot accross the street from the bar.

The nice thing about the rain is it forces people who smoke to pack together under the awning next door to Jack's at Amy's Beauty Salon, which is a great way to meet people.

No sooner did I step under that awning than I realized that --being the paragon of consistency that I am-- I had once again left my lighter at home. No good standing around smokers and possible future bar friends if you don't have a lighter.

However, I did go inside after Chili asked me for a light. When I came back out with free matches from the bar, her friend Carl was waiting patiently in his car for her to finish her as yet unstarted cigarette.

Not sure why he had the window down to keep an eye on her, since Chili wasn't half as drunk as her friend who'd just left and who'd made a point of pressing her ample breasts up against me while peppering me with questions about where I learned Spanish, how long it took to grow my beard and why didn't I have a lighter?

Yep, drunk females who smoke tend to like beards.

Anyway, Chili smoked down her cigarette so fast it was like watching newspaper burn. Before she left she promised that she and I would talk some more (in the way that people do which only assures you the promised thing will never happen) because she's a very interesting person.

Back inside I chanced upon Elijah Wood and my bar buddy Handsome Techie, but not before ACME's brother Bang-Bang Kla-Klow! bumped my beer with his elbow.

Bang-Bang! felt the pain ride up his arm and I felt the warm, breasts-were-just-here feeling on my belly get drowned out by the chill of cold beer.

Fortunately Elijah Wood saw this and pored half his beer into my glass. Bang-Bang apologized to me, then remarked he'd never seen anyone share their alcohol like that before.

I thought to myself 1) it's weird, drinking beer from another man and 2) I would now happily kill anyone for Elijah Wood if he asked, because I really appreciated what he'd done.

At that point ACME returned with more drinks and told us a story about the time it became necessary to say to a group of rude customers long ago, "You shouldn't mess with people who touch your food." Lolz no kidding. That's a bit Fight Club-ish now that I think about it (see below).

Then talk shifted to visits to the unnamed islands between Greece and Turkey. The contrast in cultures is, apparently, somewhat unsettling. For example, a woman sunbathing on a beach could not have her breasts out in the United States, much less allow her ten year old son to play with them experimentally. But on those islands, it was fine and dandy.

We're all such a bunch of prudes here in the US. Let's all take our shirts off, what do you say? (you go first) ;)

Handsome Techie and Elijah Wood moved off to other parts of the bar and I had a nice long conversation with Bang-Bang! and ACME at one of the side wall tables in the bar about military life, dating an Admiral's Daughter, going on the Tiger Tour(?) out of Alameda and what it's like to write this blog. Thank you again to Bang-Bang! for reading the whole damn thing. That's awesome, dude.

Ok, notes time:
  • OMG thank you jukebox people for playing real rock! Audioslave, AC/DC, and Through the Fire and Flames by Dragonforce! It's not just a cool end-credits song on Guitar Hero, you know.
  • Thank you ACME for the double Stoli vodka shot and for the beer.
  • Bang-Bang! for poring his double vodka shot into my hybrid Elija Wood mixed beer when I wasn't looking, then denying it.
  • The men's bathroom fan reminded me of an Albert Einstein quote after the second time I stood underneath it and condensation dripped down on my head: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
  • The lolz as ACME snuck up on Bang-Bang! and Dempsied him and more lolz when Swearengen tried to Dempsey Kelly aka Ultimate Raiders Fan and she fought back with Pink by Victoria's Secret.
  • Ultimate Raiders Fan for the story of how as a little girl her parents gave her permission to swear at the Raiders - Broncos game, so long as she only cussed at John Elway. Teh awesome. 
  • Gigantor for talking up all the pretty ladies (he's a pimp, that Gigantor) and for not killing me with your laser eyes. Thanks also for the friendly smile and the firm handshake. You rock dude.
  • The two laides at the corner of the bar who pointed at Aimee's new photographic artwork on the walls, then pointed to Matt aka James Dean behind the bar, who is himself featured in two of Aimee's pieces. Little did I know...
  • Thank you oh beautiful woman who calls me "old soul". My God is there a more wonderful breath of fresh air in all the world? Every time I see you my heart races and I can't wait to give you a hug and say hello.
  • The dude with the Suicide Girls-style star tattoo under his left ear. It was weird...see, I frequently look around the bar to take it all in. Every time I looked this way or that from my interactions with Bang-Bang! and everyone else, neck-star-guy was always in my line of sight with that tattoo showing.
  • I had a Twin Peaks moment because of him, but it passed.
Towards the end of the night I met a woman. We'll call her Rosicrucian.

She was sitting with a friend on the corner of the bar. I was all dressed and ready to go home when I saw her. I'm pretty sure I wasn't all that drunk, just buzzed.

Bang-Bang! saw me leaning against the wall opposite Swearengen near the entrance to Jack's and I don't remember telling him I was going to stay and talk to her...all I do remember is one moment I'm standing, the next I'm sitting on the bar stool with my coat off next to Rosicrucian and Bang-Bang! is sitting next to her friend and chatting her up. 

Good man, that Bang-Bang!

Son of Anarchy was on the other side of me and at one point asked me to watch his laptop. But let's be honest, I looked at it maybe once while he was gone and swear to God it was like "Whoa who is crazy enough to leave their laptop alone in a bar? Oh, it's Son of Anarchy's, shit!" because I only had eyes for Rosicrucian.

We talked about my blog and about coming to Jack's every day. She gave me permission to use her real name (not in the mood to do that, tho) and I even got her number. ;)

Here's why I like Rosicrucian:
  • She volunteers at a museum here in San Jose (I've been there and that place rocks 100%).
  • One of her first questions to me was, "So, what are you reading?" Ding, ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!
I told her what I was reading (Brothers: The Hidden History of the Kennedy Years - google link). Turns out she's reading Fight Club (linky).

We talked about how men just want to be aggressive for the sake of being aggressive and that's just totally fine with her. I remember looking at Bang-Bang! as he was chatting up Rosicrucian's coworker and thinking to myself I could take him if Rosicrucian asked for a reenactment from the book.

Glad she didn't ask, tho, 'cause Bang-Bang! is really a Ninja in tall Northern European man's clothing.

Last call came all too soon and Swearengen was eager to see the bar emptied and only had to holler at people like five times (thanks for the text later, Swearengen, I know you were not mad at us). I went outside with Rosicrucian and her friend, bid many people goodnight and agreed to walk Rosicrucian across the street with her friend.

I remember a smile, the rumble of an old truck engine starting up, the feel of warm skin beneath my cold hands, the soft touch of breasts against my chest and then closing my eyes at the tender touch of even softer lips. Not once, not twice, but three times.

Yes, men want to be aggressive and boy let me tell you my blood was running hot. But at that moment I didn't want to do anything to interrupt my senses as they took in the wonderful woman in my arms.

I left for home a happy man that night. It was a pleasure meeting you, Rosicrucian. You're one hell of a woman. Take care and I hope to see you again at Jack's.

Note to self: I must try harder not to abuse or otherwise run over the innocent rock at the Happi House parking lot when I go home. My bad, rock.

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