Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Day 59 - Defeated by Bloody Maries, Defeated by Canada, Defeated by Tanisha (It's German and Not Greek, Stupid)

Sunday, February 28th

Quotes of the day:
No George, you lost. You can't buy a vowel.

George (gesturing for Tanisha's laptop): Give me wikipedia.
Tanisha (looking at George like he's an especially slow child): It is wikipedia.

USA lost to Canada in the gold medal round today. Teh sad.

Tanisha was behind the bar when I strolled in at 12 pm. I sat down alone at the bar and saw a left over bottle cap on the floor between my legs as Tanisha served me a beer. The pregame show for the big game got under way and I commenced to drinking.

A bit later Old School Doug came in, then some more humans after that, like Dean, his bro (no longer in a sling), Karl-Heinz and his girlfriend (I'm a total sucker for pigtails, especially blond pigtails), and so on. Karl-Heinz told me stories of meeting a pair of brothers one year older and younger than him who had similar names in school, losing track of them, then meeting up again and realizing they were all cool.

Karl is the resident beer geek at Teske's here in town. You can find him there every Saturday and Sunday night, serving (in his words) the best beer in all of San Jose.

Aside from using my phone to take notes, I used it to text with my brother (an avid hockey fan), tweet back and forth with Lindsaylee, facebook with Crystal and Keith and hell I might have even spoken with someone on my phone too.

My game-only trip turned into a game, post-game, then go over to a friend's house with Anurag trip.

Thanks Christian and Jenny for hosting (did you know that they were married by the Power of Grayskull in addition to the regular powers invested in the dude who presided at their wedding?  Serious! Their anniversary is like 5 days away too). Thanks Anurag for not fearing Ema. Thanks Doug for ordering me up my first ever bloody mary. Thanks Keith for buying me a round and for letting me buy you a round. I thought your buddy Boo's dog's shirt was pretty funny (the doggy shirt says "Bitches Love Me").

At some point Marcus mentioned Epic Beard Man. Then Keith showed me a video of EBM on his phone. Then Marcus said I should be Epic Beard Man for Halloween. Lolz.

Outside I saw three very large women and one man walking three very small chihuahuas that were some kind of wierd-ass mix. It made me think of hill giants walking hairless wolves.

Back inside, Keith told me it was his goal to someday buy the Fillmore back. Then Jason (white Jason aka Son of Anarchy, not black Jason aka I Know When You Lie) stopped in for an emergency piss.

Another trip outside and I'm talking corporate malfeasance with Doug when a truck covered in torn pink carpet and sporting a giant metal rack on which are perched several green couches drives by. Must have been from the parade float reject farm.

Then I watched a truck that looked like Optimus Prime drive by. That was cool. Made up for the time I lost and would never get back from watching the reject farm parade float drive by.

Then I watch a little old lady walk by (and we're talking little - as in when she walks behind a parked car you can't even see her through the glass) across the street. She was bent over so far her head was past her feet. Yet she did just fine without a walker and motored right along. A few minutes later an old man came around Foster's Freeze, grabbed her by the elbow and more or less carry-walked her back up Taylor. She musta got loose.

About then I noticed two airplanes landing at the same damn time (one seemingly on top of the other) at the airport. WTF!?

I went to Foster's Freeze and bought a corn dog. A day of firsts. First time I've ever eaten from Fosters and as of this writing I'm still alive.

Let's not forget my first bloody mary, either: That fucking bloody mary kicked my ass all game long. It went down easier with some hot dogs from Der Wienerschnitzel too. I think bloody maries are everything V8 Juice wants to be. Like the wizened older uncle who's been around the world, has the tattoos to prove it and knows how to say "Where are the hookers, please?" in eight different languages.

Today I learned bloody maries are unique to the bar where you order them. Each bar and bartender does it a little different. I also learned to say Fuck No to bloody mary mix. Make it real or fuck off.

Why do I bring Metro's into the bar? Tanisha commandeered it (with my compliments, to be honest). So I got another one and put it right in my truck. Lesson learned.

So there were two big old All West busses parked in front of Ceilito Lindo. I hit up one of the drivers and he told me it was all for the San Jose Buddhist church gathering. Doug made a buddha joke but I forgot it (probably bad karma to write it anyway lolz).

Have you seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding? I thought there might be some truth to the depiction of the main character's dad as someone who thinks everything comes from Greece.

This suspicion was confirmed today at the bar by my bar buddy George. George is Greek. George is awesome. George is not immune to the effects of mind erasers.

The same goes for his buddy (and my buddy, but probably not your buddy unless you go to Jack's) Marcus.

Just like with black holes, when you combine awesome you get more than the sum of the parts. So it is with George and Marcus.

However, Jack's has an awesome equalizer, since even awesome can get out of hand sometimes. That equalizer is Tanisha (with a friendly assist from the internet).

The claim? English has its roots in Greek.

The truth? English has its roots in German. German is the mother tongue of English. Fuck even I knew this (that's what bathroom readers/useless fact books are for--to get smart when you're taking a dump).

Tried to tell George that too. Problem is George and Marcus' ability to cogitate was temporarily negated by the two mind erasers they'd consumed. Thus George insisted it was Greek, always was Greek, etc...

Enter the Dragon (i.e., Tanisha) to set the record straight. Pwned at the bar (ouch!).

Keith thought it was pretty fucking funny, as did I.

But it was all in good fun and good drinks.

See you Monday at Jack's n' shit.

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